i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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