Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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