what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
