We're facebook friends in real life
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize