i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Quick, to the slutcave!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize