just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
