i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
