could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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