The Swedes wanted a tensome.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He? As in you personified your dick?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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