And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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