I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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