so explain again why im purple
no
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
