I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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