My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
