those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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