Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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