Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
