If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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