u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the condom got lost in my hair
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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