I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
