dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
