I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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