When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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