Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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