Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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