so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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