So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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