Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
