We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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