ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
