i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
