Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
