brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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