What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
