that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
