Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
These tits shall not be calmed
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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