Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
