I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
