Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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