My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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