Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
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