This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
