This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
