you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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