She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
