is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize