Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
