I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
