I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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