Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
