if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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