pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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