Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
