A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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