is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
