It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
