I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
