Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
