took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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