i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize