Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
