don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
