Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I will pee on everything he values.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
