i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
